When u care too much

How many times does it happen to me? I lost count.
But why do i care so much?! Do you know that i am hurt by your insensitive actions?
Actions that you did and actions that you do not do when you should have?
Why am i so stupid to let you continuously hurting me? Why did i continuously asking myself to forgive you? Why do i keep making changes to myself to suit you?
Why should i even care about you?

When i care about you, i actually given you a knife to hurt me. I trust you enough to give you that knife. This knife is so special that it only hurts me, and hurts painful straight into my heart. The more i care for you, the sharper is the knife you are holding. Why do you have to hurt me with that knife?

Maybe i am not a good friend. Maybe i am not the friend that you are looking for.
Maybe you feels that i am not fitted to be your friend. Maybe.. so many possibilities. I dont want to get hurt anymore. My heart bleeds until it is numb. Friends are too important to me.

I had decided to take the knife from you. Take away all the care and concern that i have put in place to treat you as my close friend.